You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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