I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize