dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
