I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
as a side note pls kill me
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