Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
