I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize