i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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