I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
