I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
