Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
