I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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