Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
