i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we're so committed to being not committed
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
