He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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