Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't turn off my feet"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
