i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
