..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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