Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
did i walk over a car last night?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
