why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im holly from the hills drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
