I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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