guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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