i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
