i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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