ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
