Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
