Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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