did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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