If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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