This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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