Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
