So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
