Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
