Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize