Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
