Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
