Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
