I hate your face
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
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this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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