i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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