k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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