I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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