my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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