He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
