You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
