So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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