At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
