i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
