made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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