Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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