so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
