My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
