My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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