she was so not down for the gang bang
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
