Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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