Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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