Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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