dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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