The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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