I just cut my nipple shaving
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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