Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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