He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
