the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
